Today, I prepare to buy something for my friends, I just thinking what they like...imagine their face full of smile and laugh when they get surprise from me...
I really lucky have many friends, but I still afraid with friendship....
I write on email,my status in fb or twitter how i miss my friends....but suddenly like nightmare I feel sad. When I meet them all,it's mean time to say goodbye....
I've been disappointed with some people in the past that ever offer me "friendship" but actually they stub me in behind,laughed on my pain. After that, I never believe others even they said they will be my bestfriend. but never mind, because of that I learn something, never have few bestfriend, you must have a lot so they can't hurt you again.
This pain make me become skeptic person,. One thing I really regret in my farewell party with my classroom in university, I said to them " you all only use me to listen your problem,but you never care with me, I just your trash can", at that time, I just want they hate me. So I can said to myself you never have bestfriends, they just use you. Unfortunately, they didn't, they still care with me...it's so blessing that your friends can forgive you...
This year is really hard for me, after depression from a love I lost, I try healing my self. I still can't accept my lost,blame everything, even until now hatred that remains in my heart...
Allah SWT always know what the best for me, I thought I only find true friendship but it's more than that, I found FAMILY.
Really amazing if you can share sad experiences with your friends, asking them to tell the "world" about your lost cause you never able to speak about it again. Or someone, you just meet, can defend and accept all your boss's nagging because of your absence, someone teach you their local language, so you can say "Abari, ¡Hola, hej, 您好, ( Ijust forgot Cambodia and Vietnam Laguages)", someone can protect you from bad dog, or someone who remove your tears when you cry, or maybe bring your heavy bags so you can smile again.
You might be become bestfriends because of some accidentally moment such as have lost experience together, have same goal to success (reach scholarship), have kidnap experience because they prepare special farewell party for you or have similar favorite songs (Latin,classic),and have same hobby (eat and traveling)....
but one thing I learn, best friends not only you can find in sad time or lost time, but the most important thing you can share happiness with them.
I remember one of my brother (he more than bestfriend for me) told me " The niceness is often short but not a flash in the pan. Imagining maybe is the original meaning of niceness. So we can adjust ourselves for the pleasant".
I still don't know what the meaning of friendship, cause now I just know the meaning of family.......
TO BE CONTINUE
